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Joceline Joestar

Of the Silver Fuller

Diabolos [Crystal]

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Freezing my butt off, day 1

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Joceline goes to help the older brother first. His name is Ser Artoirel, and he’s heard a lot about her from his brother/cousin/whatever Haurchefant is to him. He is not excited to be working with two of the houses his family is beefing with, but the Holy See says he has to, and I have to go with him to a place called Falcon’s Nest. We need black chocobos to fly there.

I discover a new location! The Count’s diary says this area used to have lots of greenery before Bahamut came. A cutscene shows shivering NPCs and a ship iced over on a river.

Looking (and goofing) around, JoJo falls over a cliff, wanders some, and ends up in Dravania. Well, the Dravanian Forelands. Of course there are dragons (and statues of dragons) everywhere. But instead of snow, there’s grass and trees and a river and lots of ruined architecture. It’s pretty in an abandoned, overgrown kind of way. There’s also a chocobo forest and a camp of hunters who catch them.

When I eventually get back to Ser Artoirel, he says we need to talk to Ser Redwald. I get a quick history lesson about how they had to leave the area after the post-Bahamut snow wouldn’t quit falling. Now Iceheart’s cult runs around here. The church wants it back, and Redwald wants us to help the craftsmen attempting to restore the place. JoJo throws back a glass of frozen spirits and steels herself for an escort mission, but no, there really are guys fixing stuff and cataloguing supplies and dealing with sprites making the place even colder. There’s also an old guy looking for artifacts from the abandoned village. The statue where I tried to train Heustienne is a statue of the first dragoon, so dragons like blowing fire on it, and one of the people working here is trying to scrub away years of soot.

After enough errands, JoJo gets sent to find some guys who had been sent to find some heretics. I’ve fallen down on the way to Camp Riversmeet before and would do it again because it’s faster, but I have to talk to Artoirel in a couple of spots in order to advance the quest. When I’m able, I say “screw it” and jump down to help the one knight I can see getting beaten up. Artoirel congratulates JoJo... and of course he gets to take the guy back to camp while she needs to follow the heretics.

The description for the next quest has Iceheart’s picture. Uh-oh. JoJo knocks back another one and goes after them. First she finds some footprints and one dead knight. From there she, without Steelbeak, has to trace more footprints. Eventually some heretics show up and I get to stab all but one, whom I chase back to their hideout. Iceheart is not pleased to see me. Feeling’s mutual. Square up, Shiva. No, it can’t be that easy. My least favorite lizard wants to talk, saying that she knows the truth. STFU, Midgardsormr. Nobody asked! Whatever y’all have to say, make it quick so JoJo can put you both in the ground already.

It’s Tragic Backstory Time! Iceheart used to live out here before the Calamity, tried to flee past Snowcloak and failed, went north instead, and met Hraesvelgr. One of your spawn, Middy? As I suspected, the woman thinks she’s a chosen one, her message being “to bring dragon and man together.” No thanks! I know what your heroine did in the name of togetherness! There’s no kinkshaming option, so I make JoJo say that killing civilians isn’t going to bring anybody together; Iceheart claims that was not supposed to happen, out of her control. Sure, Jan. Midgardsormr tells Jan -er, Iceheart in so many words that dragons live a long time and hold grudges like they get paid for it. She says she’ll make it right -how, I have no idea, but she declares “we are now as one.” Her and Shiva? Her and Midgardsormr? Her and JoJo? I want no part of this madness. JoJo forgets to stab Iceheart again and lets her leave. WHY. That word sums up the entirety of my feelings towards Iceheart and Shiva and this whole mess: one big WHY.

Artoirel is grateful for the people I did stab and for me finding where they congregate. He says my efforts will be recognized. Great, I could do with some kind of reward right now. He also says I deserve to enjoy a few hours worth of warm fire. When we get back to Redwald, he tells him they’ve/we’ve made good progress. He has to report to his dad and the Holy See. Don’t forget to make JoJo look good! Redwald says this proves more foreigners would be good for the country. I have to pay 5 gil for a chocobo to fly back to Church City. At least the music is enjoyable.

Back at his house, Artoirel apologizes for misjudging JoJo. Apparently people talked her up so much it was starting to sound like nonsense. Her would-be FWB was conceived the one time his dad cheated. The Count loves Haurchefant to pieces and wants him happy, while his wife couldn’t stand him... at the risk of sounding like a terrible person, I’d feel the same way if my man cheated on me. Why is Artoirel in TMI mode today? He hasn’t exactly adored his half-brother either, and for a little while he sort of wanted his precious WoL to get rekt by the heretics. Hey, I have no idea what Haurchefant told you, but we aren’t even that close! Do NOT take out y’all’s family problems on me! But now Artoirel respects me for heading off to kick their butts without any protest. Nobody ever listens when I protest, plus you *can’t* protest when your mouth is full of fermented fig and banana -anyhow, he gives JoJo an elegant bow and walks off.

(Artoirel says something about their mother’s deathbed. So the inquisition didn’t get her. Was she sick? Did she succumb to injuries inflicted by a dragon? Did she die in childbirth?)
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