Character

As I go through the game, there is the enviable busy work of leveling jobs, especially DPS ones. It is boring, tedious work, but one that needs done if one wants variety in the end game jobs. As I do it though, it has made me more than ever REALLY miss healing and made me realize that even with all my bitching and griping about the problems I have when playing White Mage, I really prefer healing FAR more than DPSing.

There is just something FAR more satisfying about keeping people alive then just dealing out lots of massive damage to things. No matter what DPS job I play, it all boils down to doing a repetitious rotation till things are dead, rinse and repeat, over and over again, nothing ever really changes. Now don't get me wrong, some DPS jobs ARE fun, like bard and dancer. But even those, a lot of the time there does not seem to be very much satisfaction in it.

But playing White Mage is different, I get a great amount of satisfaction managing to keep people alive, figuring out HOW to keep them alive when 'shit hits the fan' so to speak. Yes, sometimes it can be TOO much in higher stuff and I have trouble handling it, but not always.

You know, writing this, I just realized something. I have said in the past I like having lazy runs, and yes I do. But at times, I also like having challenging stuff, and when I AM in the mood for it, (and control WHEN it happens), I will heal for the challenge and enjoyment of healing.

I recently did the new 24 man raid for the first time. As you know if you have done it, it is damn hard with a ton of crap going on. Yes, I DID heal that and I did VERY well for a first time with only THREE deaths.

(Note, SOME will say four, but that last death was complete CRAP and was caused by lag! Plus it was already dead! It is THREE!)

Anyway, that run was VERY challenging and it made me REALLY heal mt little heart out. And you know what, I handled it, I did well, and I really enjoyed healing something that hard. It gave me.......satisfaction.

Now some are probably reading this and saying I am a hypocrite for bitching about tanks pulling big in dungeons making it hard to heal when I enjoy the challenge of raids and primals like Titania. But I already went over all that in a previous blog and won't reiterate it here; if people what to think that of me, then so be it.

There are those that shy away from healing because of many reasons: the stress, the responsibility, the blame when things go wrong. But also there are those that do it for the fun of healing, the joy of being needed, and useful. I guess I AM one of those people. I WANT to feel.....well, 'needed'.

Silly? maybe, but then again, I AM a silly person, and it seems a foolish one for ACTUALLY loving healing. ;p



I actually wrote this a few weeks ago and let it sit. I wanted to add something to it. As I am finally gearing up my White mage now to the current Ilevel, I am finding that I don't struggle so much in the big stuff as much as I used to. Oh I STILL do in the really high dungeons such as the palace, but stuff like the Ravel I can handle pretty well since I have better gear now.

Oh, and the 24 man factory? Last time I did it, I only had ONE death people, and I only had THAT one because I stupidly put myself in the wrong place on the first boss when things dropped from above. ALL the other bosses I lived through them!

So I guess I am improving some again. well at least till the next bout of hard stuff. ;p

Oh, STILL need to do Eden, have not gotten around to it yet.

Sigh, and Titania EX, can't find ANY practice groups! :(