Failure from success, that sounds silly right? I mean, HOW can one have a failure when one is successful? Well book, I found that out today and it was a serious wake up call that these lands are in FAR more trouble than I first thought.
I mean it started out ok and all. The talos had been successful in grabbing Mt. Gulg and our little group prepared to climb up it to face Vauthry and his hordes of Sin Eaters. Was I worried about how it would go, honestly, not too much. I mean, I had beaten so many of them already Dee, not to mention killed all the Lightwardens by myself, what was one more, right?
Climbing the talos, we were beset on all sides by the creatures but made short of them. Even the bigger bosses were no match for us, we were a determined lot. Even when we reached the fancy marbled area that looked like a temple the things gave us little trouble. Silly? Heavens no. You see Dee, I have encountered them so often by now that they were no longer scary, no longer the frightening beasts that they were in the beginning. They were annoying pests to dispatch when they got in my way, and boy did they EVER! They tried to stop me, they really did, but eventually we reached the area where Vauthry resided.
The fat lord was NOT happy to see me and spit out a tirade of threats and nonsense, which kind of gave me a headache. I think it was meant to make me hesitate. All it made me want to do is kill him quicker so he would SHUT up and I took the initiative to make that happen as quick as possible.
The battle was.....unexpected. Oh Vauthry tried to stand up against me with his augmented Sin Eater powers, but I had too much practice against his brethren and dispatched him with little trouble. I thought it was the end, but of course I should have known better. These realms screw me over constantly, why should now be any different?
Vauthry ended up.....transforming Dee. He transformed into this majestic, and to be honest, pretty good looking Sin Eater, Innocence. I bet Vauthry himself was thrilled not to be fat anymore. Myself? I just groaned and thought, "Damn it, he looks like he is going to be a BIG pain in the rear. Sure enough, he was. It took a bit of effort to defeat him, but like the others he eventually fell, defeated. Unlike the others though, he ranted and whined about his defeat, moaning that we did not appreciate him. Honestly, I breathed a sigh of relief when he finally vaporized into the all familiar light so it would shut him up.
That relief was short lived though as I absorbed the Light from the last Lightwarden into me. Something....happened. Something.....broke inside me, causing me to gasp in pain. It was too much Dee, too much Light, too much to bear. Ryne and Y'shtola had warned me, Yuriager had warned me that taking anymore in would tip the fragile balance I had, and damn it they were right.
Oh Dee, it was AWFUL! It hurt, hurt more than ANYTHING else I ever felt in my life. It's all a blurry haze now, but as I try to recall, I ended up slumping to the ground in pain, crying, screaming in agony. I did not try to hide it from the others at all, it HURT! A glow erupted around me, threatening to break out, threatening to erupt into....I don't know, something fierce. I tried to contain it, tried to hold it back, but it ended up being too much for me and I crumpled, just crying, whimpering, and waiting for the end of me to come.
But Dee, it didn't come, it obviously did not happen for I am writing this now. What happened? Well, two things, one good and one very bad.
First let me say, I am recalling this the best I can. Remember, I was in great pain and a bit incoherent at the time. Honestly, it's amazing I remember anything at all. Second....well, it's all so depressing that I don't even know WHY I AM writing this in my journal; do I REALLY want to reread such a depressing event in my life? Sigh, I guess SO since I AM writing this now. Gods Annabel, you really ARE such a ditz!
Ok.....ugh, WHY am I doing this again?.....there I was, on the ground Dee when a figure appeared; it was the Exarch. He said some things, something.....about taking away my pain and traveling. I know, makes NO sense right? Remember book, in-co-her-ent.
He came up to me, said some things, lowered his staff and.....started draining the Light from me into himself; at least that's what it LOOKED like to painstricken me. I was NOT sure what was going on, all I know was that I was slowly feeling better and the Scions were in a heated argument on what the Exarch was doing. Eventually the whole thing died down, I guess they came to a consensus or something. All I know was he was helping me, at what cost though I knew not.
Time passed, minutes I guess, surely it was not longer. The Light was almost drained from me and I felt MUCH better and was able to finally understand what was going on. That fool of a hooded man was sacrificing himself to save me. NO, I would NOT have it, I would NOT have someone ELSE die for me! Too many have Dee, TOO Many!!!!
But I was still too weak to protest, to voice any kind of Bitchy tirade, retort or whatever. I just accepted his help in silence, watching him slowly die before my eyes...Hell Dee, I could not even cry....
And then.....he fell, and it all went rushing back into me, making me scream in agony, in pain. I cried out, tears streaming from my eyes as I slumped to the ground. Honestly I am amazed I did not pass out from all that. It was back Dee, the whole thing was back in me, writhing, and once more I felt a change in my aether, in my soul.
Raising my head, I saw what had happened. That bastard Emet-Selch had shot the Exarch to stop him from saving me. Was he dead, it was hard to tell. I guess it did not really matter much to me at the time, I was barely trying to comprehend what was going on around me.
Coming up to me, Emet started monologing, talking about his various plans and how I had messed them all up. He seemed to think that I would have been able to contain all the Light from the Wardens and was REALLY disappointed that I had failed. HE'S disappointed? Honey, I was disappointed with myself, that I could NOT do this.
He then laughed with the thought that I was going to be eventually turned into one of those Sin Eaters when the Light finally won. I will not lie Dee, that turned my veins cold with thought, to think I would become like one of those creatures that killed so many, that killed Tesleen......
I wanted to scream at him, to say NO, that that would NEVER happen to me. I wanted to give him the Bitchiest Bitchy retort that I could muster in my slim body. But I didn't, I couldn't; all I could do is just lie there grimacing in pain, tears streaming from my eyes. I was helpless AGAIN Dee, so utterly, utterly.....helpless.
Finally I heard Emet say he would help me end it all instead of changing if I came to someplace he called the Tempest. He then rose into the air, grabbed the Exarch, and teleported away; then I finally passed out, not being able to take anymore.....
I woke up on my bed in my room. How I got there I have no idea. Ryne was there telling me that she had managed to stabilize me for now, but that I was in constant danger of relapsing and not to push myself. I smiled at her, nodded and thanked her for her help, she then left me alone to rest.
So here I am, resting and writing this down while it is still remotely fresh in my mind. Oh Dee, what am I going to DO? HOW am I going to get out of THIS one? I am a mess a real MESS and I DON'T know how to fix it!
Is there a way to? Should I take up Emet's offer and have him end my life before I turn onto one of those things? I don't know, it's just TOO much for me to think on right now. Honestly, I shouldn't even really be writing this. I should be sleeping, resting, trying to get what strength I still have back.
I guess I will end this here so I can do so, rest and think upon my future, if there is one to think about....
Till next time, (hopefully)