The Journey into Savage 3A casual scrub's raiding misadventures
I wish I can start this entry with the words "Today, I entered Alphascape v2.0 Savage for the first time", but the truth is, 2 weeks after I first cleared Chaos, I have not even seen Midgardsormr. Midgardsormr's mechanics are more complicated than Chaos's, so I spent a lot of time writing notes and watching videos of people's clears, and this took up an entire week's worth of raid time.
Well, that's what I say, but when I look back, I was actually afraid. Afraid of making mistakes, afraid of looking bad in front of others. And if I had more courage, I would've learned more from 1 hour of wiping than 3 hours of over-preparing.
It doesn't help that Alphascape v2.0 is considered a big obstacle for most players, and by now, most players have either progressed to v3.0/v4.0, or were unable to clear and gave up. Learning parties for v2.0 are very rare now. Last week I found one at last, and jumped in. Party leader was silent, and didn't respond to my greetings or other questions from party members. Someone posted a discord link in chat, so I joined. As we were chatting in discord, suddenly the PF leader disbanded the party! I guess they didn't want to join discord and didn't feel comfortable with a party where most people except them were in voice chat. I was disappointed, so I said "Thank you for trying, good luck" and left.
Later only did I realize how stupid I was. We had 4 people in discord already, and I should have seized the opportunity to say "Let's make our own party" and continue trying to form a full party. Again I was afraid, afraid of leadership, responsibility and initiative.I guess this is the most important thing I learned from Savage so far: before I can defeat the boss, I must first defeat my own fear.
If we are scared of being kicked from PF, how can we handle being kicked from our jobs? If we dare not look bad in front of internet strangers, what will happen when we are called upon to perform in real life? And if we fear dying to a videogame boss (there's not even any loss of exp or gear), how will we face the real world with all its dangers, injustices and cruelties? More than any fancy mechanics or DPS checks, the real test for me was to dare to click that "join" button in PF, and resist negative thoughts of "this is too hard" and "maybe I should go do something else" in the tense, lonely minutes waiting for parties to fill.
No, I need to improve my attitude if I want to continue on this journey. Instead of only designating specific hours to raid, I must regularly check PF and be ready to raid at any time. And if no PF is available on raid day, then I have to learn some leadership skills and start my own. Even if I'm the only one left sitting in PF on June 27, I won't give up until the end.
Don't get bitter, just get better! Let's clear together next time!Next: Meeting MidHARDsormr >>