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Siglinde Skysworn

Sargatanas (Aether)

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[O10S] No Wyrmsign in Sight

Public
The Journey into Savage 3
A casual scrub's raiding misadventures

I wish I can start this entry with the words "Today, I entered Alphascape v2.0 Savage for the first time", but the truth is, 2 weeks after I first cleared Chaos, I have not even seen Midgardsormr. Midgardsormr's mechanics are more complicated than Chaos's, so I spent a lot of time writing notes and watching videos of people's clears, and this took up an entire week's worth of raid time.

Well, that's what I say, but when I look back, I was actually afraid. Afraid of making mistakes, afraid of looking bad in front of others. And if I had more courage, I would've learned more from 1 hour of wiping than 3 hours of over-preparing.

It doesn't help that Alphascape v2.0 is considered a big obstacle for most players, and by now, most players have either progressed to v3.0/v4.0, or were unable to clear and gave up. Learning parties for v2.0 are very rare now. Last week I found one at last, and jumped in. Party leader was silent, and didn't respond to my greetings or other questions from party members. Someone posted a discord link in chat, so I joined. As we were chatting in discord, suddenly the PF leader disbanded the party! I guess they didn't want to join discord and didn't feel comfortable with a party where most people except them were in voice chat. I was disappointed, so I said "Thank you for trying, good luck" and left.

Later only did I realize how stupid I was. We had 4 people in discord already, and I should have seized the opportunity to say "Let's make our own party" and continue trying to form a full party. Again I was afraid, afraid of leadership, responsibility and initiative.

I guess this is the most important thing I learned from Savage so far: before I can defeat the boss, I must first defeat my own fear.

If we are scared of being kicked from PF, how can we handle being kicked from our jobs? If we dare not look bad in front of internet strangers, what will happen when we are called upon to perform in real life? And if we fear dying to a videogame boss (there's not even any loss of exp or gear), how will we face the real world with all its dangers, injustices and cruelties? More than any fancy mechanics or DPS checks, the real test for me was to dare to click that "join" button in PF, and resist negative thoughts of "this is too hard" and "maybe I should go do something else" in the tense, lonely minutes waiting for parties to fill.

No, I need to improve my attitude if I want to continue on this journey. Instead of only designating specific hours to raid, I must regularly check PF and be ready to raid at any time. And if no PF is available on raid day, then I have to learn some leadership skills and start my own. Even if I'm the only one left sitting in PF on June 27, I won't give up until the end.

Don't get bitter, just get better! Let's clear together next time!
Comments (4)

Pan'da Express

Sargatanas (Aether)

Really wish I could raid with you sometime. Love your attitude about it :) We have all been there, the one thing I have learned in raiding is we all make mistakes. You will deal with some salty people from time to time, but they are the minority not the norm. And who cares if someone thinks your bad. Your there to tackle the task and overcome the challenge. When you do that is a slap in the face of their insults. Keep pushing girl

Sigurd De-mizar

Phoenix (Light)

The very first time when I did savage content, it was A1S. It was really an accident. It was Christmas and no one was around. Some guys need to do their weekly on A1S. They didn't have a healer and I played WHM. I had not watch a video, don't have TS3, no idea the boss hit that hard. I can't even heal the prey.

I always remember how bad that days went. I have problem even when I started clearing content, even on multiple jobs, I just feel that I suck.

Siglinde Skysworn

Sargatanas (Aether)

Hey Panda, thanks a ton for your kind words. I'd be thrilled to raid with you, haha.

I totally agree with what you are saying. Honestly I have yet to meet even 1 really salty person in all of Savage so far. But sometimes we still fear things that we rationally know are not that bad or terrifying, fear isn't really rational after all.

Also, I'm a guy - I actually don't care about pronouns so much but I don't want to mislead anyone, haha. Very sorry if I gave anyone the impression otherwise!

Siglinde Skysworn

Sargatanas (Aether)

Maaaan Sigurd, I can't imagine trying to heal any Savage without a guide's help. And I personally think healer has the toughest role in raids (you have to deal with your own mistakes and also others' mistakes). I have no idea how you overcame that, haha.
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