FFXIV Anxiety & Courage
Now I’m not the youngest of players, and I doubt I’m the oldest but definitely old enough to be someone’s mum or even grandma, but I’ve been with the FF franchise since FFVII came out... on the PlayStation (1), yes, I’m that old and female to boot.
I suffer with bad anxiety and FF is always good to calm me and focus my mind away from the world. When FFXiV came out originally I played for six months and gave up, I just could not get up the courage to join an FC or even party up and progress the MSQ as it involved going into dungeons with ‘other people’. Even worse for me as I prefer to tank, no pressure there then.
Christmas 2019, thought I’d give it another go, pleasantly surprised that I can pay to clear the MSQ up to and including Stormblood. Started levelling my character’s jobs, my beloved Paladin is now at 80, watched all the MSQ storylines I missed and started soloing all the dungeons, trials and raids that I could solo and complete. Even managed a rank A lvl 70 mark solo.
Love taking part in fates, hunts etc. But still never partied up until today. Found an A class mark that wasn’t soloable, put the shout out, created temp party and bonuses! Whoop whoop. A small hurdle. Set up the macros to help with all of this, rather proud myself for an oldie. May pick up the courage to do it again.
My fear of FCs and going into dungeons with a party still has me stuck (shadowbringers) because I am too anxious to do the Dancing Plague. Even created an FC, one that I won’t ask anyone to join with the tag SOLO so my introvert character will be left alone. Can’t say what my problem is, fear of letting people down, not knowing if I’m a good tank or not, those hardcore players who berate others... plus a hundred and one other reasons I give myself. I have watched and rewatched YouTube vids of it, I sort of get all the mechanics, but I still cannot bring myself to queue for it. So do I wait for the next expansion and hope they will let us pay to cut through Shadowbrings MSQ or grow a pair? I wonder do others have this issue?
I know I’m missing out on so much, decent end game armour for a start, Wolf marks for PvP to get items for glamour. The success of high end raids, it’s also getting embarrassing not being able to fly except in Lakeland for Shadowbringers and I can’t open up anywhere else after Il Mheg .... so, one day maybe, if I build up my confidence with A/S rank hunt parties I can test the water with a dungeon, or, I can just get all my family and kids signed up then I could get them to my level and they could form a party with me, but then they would want to live in my nice house in the Lavender beds, which is clean and tidy and they’d get under my feet, so no, solo it is.
Why do I play FFXIV solo when it’s an MMORPG because the game is brilliant.!
I understand this completely. One of the reasons I was so excited about ShB was the trust system so I didn't have to party with others. I did eventually meet a friend who helped me get more accustomed to the trials and such and I even cleared a savage in content. That was huge for me. I still prefer our small FC over big ones and get anxious when I join bigger parties but its easier. If I was on your server I'd be happy to go in and heal with you.
I do have a good friend on your server, he's friendly and helpful. If you would like I could give him your name or share your blog post with him and see if he would be willing to go in and tank with you the dancing plague so you can continue MSQ
Lastly this is a game, one we pay to enjoy. Sometimes that means doing it solo and sometimes it means challenging yourself a bit and going outside your comfort zone to see what you're capable of. <3
P.S your viera is absolutely stunning!
Goddess Hecate, thank you for taking the time to comment and for your kind words. I’m not sure if I’m ready to confront Dancing Plague yet, but please if you wish share my blog post.
I envy players who don’t even think about it and just get on and do raids and savage content, but solo I still get a huge amount of enjoyment out of the game.
The Viera is quite new, I’ve played an Au Ra since xmas but she never felt right, so a Fantasia Potion for a complete overhaul & Midnight now feels perfect.
Ps. Your Viera is beautiful!
Thank you! She is an alt but I love her! I am also an older woman playing this game, and my viera's represent my inner mirror or so I like to say lol. All a goddess, always <3
I shared your blog post with my friend, but asked him to not contact you directly.
Yes, I think my Viera is the inner me, my machinist is all leather, big boots and rides the SDS Fenrir. I love doing my glamours. I wanted to take the Viera and move away from the too much skin look, walking around in my pants was not for me haha.
Thank you for you letting your friend know. x
May I ask a question? Why a MMORPG?
Why choose to play this if playing with others causes so much well,......uncomfortable stuff?
There are solo games that simulate the MMO experience without having other people involved.
This game actively makes you group to progress through the story.
I'm just really curious about what makes you want to play this game when you can't get the full experience from it.
If you want a game where you can do most of it solo and also be a MMORPG, GW2 lets you.
Completely valid question.
FFXIV is amazing, there is so much that can be done solo, a massive amount of content. I can solo virtually all lvl 60/50 extreme trials plus having a bash at high end, plus Alliance raids that can be done solo. etc and can solo some lvl 70 dungeons, so only real downside is story progression is Shadowbringers where the angst comes in, and missing out on good gear and weapons. Overall I find the game thoroughly enjoyable.
I wondered if anyone else had game anxiety.
Well that IS true, you certainly can do old stuff unsynced to get the credit for it. But doing it that way is a very watered down version of the original, which does not showcase what it was originally. Pretty much EZ mode. ;-)
But to at least get some kind of experience of the fight and getting credit for the story attached to it, it works, and many do it that way for various reasons.
As you have noticed though, you don't get that luxury with current content, especially the trials.
Ah, I didn’t realise that dungeons and trials were different using using an undersized party of 1. So more EZ. Thought I was doing too well lol.
The story lines that go with these are great. But agree no luxuries in later content.
I need to remember it’s a game and a game I enjoy so I just need that courage to get outside my comfort zone. Maybe look for a casual FC that is willing to take me on, so I can make some friends and get a feel for all the content that gives me angst.
I feel ya. I used to be really scared of voice chat and for a long time that kept me out of raiding despite the fact I desperately wanted to try it.
My therapist would say - you have fears/anxiety, and even though they're 100% valid and understandable, they're keeping you from something you want, so it's worth trying to get through them. But it's better to go slow & take small steps.
For me the hard part is figuring out what those small steps can be!
I'm thinking maybe making a FATE party, since you already made one for that hunt mark and it went well. Plus right now with the Yokai event people are farming them like crazy. The advantage of those over dungeon parties is that you can literally bail anytime if you start feeling bad, without any penalty.
Anyhow I'm a scrub who just started Heavensward, but if you ever want an emotional support lala to try a dungeon with someone else, hit me up!
Lalli, thank you for your kind words. I was thinking the same, small steps. Yes, I completed the Yokai quests and got all the medals needed for all the weapons and final mount. But, I did it all solo, if someone asked me to join a party at one point, regret I said no, and escaped to another area. Now I know it’s actually not so horrific to do so. Although chat is a nuisance using a PS4. So I think your right fates parties are a good place to gain some confidence. I will keep you in mind. TY
For what it's worth content in this game is always getting easier as our item levels rise. At the launch of shadowbringers we all threw ourselves at the final trial with our 430 artifact gear and whatever accessories we had, it was moderately difficult. But now that most players have a full set of 480 or better its pretty trivial even if they have to carry one or two newcomers.
Oh.. you aren't the only one who has had bad experiences.. I started playing in December 2014. The experiences with MAJORITY of FC's (I went through over 20) are inconsiderable and utterly useless respectful support. Who wants to deal with the "constructive criticism" improper as it may be. The idea of being accepted by quality of play, social acceptance by interests is completely unrealistic. Then being thrown the option of discord as if it's mandatory is childish bullying.
Refuse it.. your judged and branded socially unacceptable.. join and not meet unrealistic expectations your judged and branded.. 🤦♂️.. there's absolutely no rational thinking. Much less critical thinking. 🤷♂️ I completely understand your explanation.. horrible.. the shame is on those giving the uncomfortable experiences in such a beautiful game. 🤔 I honestly don't understand where they get the idea that their expectations are laws. With those kinds of standards I'm pretty sure they are single
Omg.. Annabel..🤦♂️ should have known.. people are free to play what they want.. just like you are free to ramble.. but bully and force your unrealistic negative opinions is frowned upon. People are free to live how they want.. so they can play how they want. If everyone is free to justify their own rules in how they want to live comfortably for themselves then they are hypocrites and control freaks to assume their way is superior. All decisions are based on personal preference.. that's comfort
Oh.. and people shouldn't claim to be "positive individuals" if they force their personal perspectives on another individual totally disregarding their own brain process passive aggressively. Being positive consists of accommodating their level with yours creating a positive balance with an successful outcome. Acting like abusive parents and declaring one side is wrong and the other is right is well.. bullying 🤷♂️. In real life a team in battle not unified wiped. No one makes it home for dinner
🤦♂️.. and another person.. maybe I should look and see who is running vocabulary before I feel like giving unbiased or supportive advice..
Hi Guardian’angel Reaper, this was my original experience with FCs back in 2014 too, when I tried it, horrible experience. When I was asked to join a party recently and said no (this time I was actually finished in the area so moving on somewhere else) I got backlash for saying no.
I play because I love this game. Thank you for you comments, they are really appreciated and for your understanding. FFXIV for me and my anxiety is my happy place.
Yeah i get it. I too have dealt with people's ugliness but mostly in reality. But this synthetic reality is honestly a different kind of twisted mentality with a little more intelligence with word play. It literally turns my stomach. Honestly I've tried to find a happy medium for reaction but.🤷♂️ They all know this, it's unspoken truth. Took me a while to adapt. I still feel like you do but I have a few friends and family here with me so they see the same.
If you are passive.. they assume they can take you.. if you're are overpowering then your everything under the sun they convinced easy minded people you are. 🤷♂️ Coming from the streets handling this kind of loose tongue are fighting words. If you didn't respond in a way where they felt like respecting you or staying away from you then there's always problems. But here we have a bunch of keyboard warriors. 🤦♂️ tough from far but far from tough. So I've learned to give what I get🤷♂️💯👍
But that's wrong.. NOBODY should feel that way trying to play a DAMN good game. I've played FF before most of these people. Started on FF2. Most of these people weren't born yet lol. Don't let anyone ruin it for what they personally think 🤣.. don't let them do that to you. If you don't want to run vocabulary then just ignore them. Slide them that passive aggressiveness they give. It's a damn good game so enjoy it the way you want! They obviously aren't learning from MSQ about obvious morals 😑
Guardian’angel Reaper, it does take a while to adapt doesn’t it, how I would deal with bullying in real life doesn’t work the same way in game, maybe because it’s the written word. I’m a very passive individual.
Your right, this is a damn good game, and I will certainly keep on playing. It makes me happy. So I won’t allow it to be ruined. I think my very first game was the 1st Tomb Raider, god knows how many years ago that was, stayed with adventure and RPG ever since especially FF. A big TY.
Ps. When I say it takes a while to adapt, I still haven’t adapted, but I’ll get there. :D
I’ve made my mind up to see what happens in October about the next expansion, then I can decide about MSQ in Shadowbringers. For what I do, I don’t need that top level of gear. I’ve so much content to do still, and levelling my jobs, getting achievements, to name but a few.plus I want to make a flame captain. It never gets boring so plenty to keep me going til the middle of next year.
I say Tomb Raider was my first game, it is if you discount frogger and that odd tennis game, two lines and a small ball 😂😂
Thank you again for commenting and understanding my anxiety, angst and anguish. Midnight.