“Wait—what?” Hyleigh sat cross-legged on the shag rug in her bedroom, looking down at the letter in her hands. She placed it on the floor and picked up two more. She looked from one to the other, and then back again. She pursed her lips together. She put both letters down on the sprawling pile scattered around her, and picked up another one. “These post marks,” she began, feeling her cheeks grow pink. “They’re from before I submitted my fanfictions, but these seem to be about me. He uses the alias I used during my adventuring days, and occasionally my real name besides.” She looked up from the letters, let her gaze wander, then let out a puff of air.
“But how? Why? What?” She began collecting the letters and placing them neatly into a pile. “I—I don’t understand.”
Once she’d collected all the letters, she leaned back and placed her palms against the rug to support herself, looking at nothing in particular. She’d been thinking about him a lot, about things he’d said in the past. He hadn’t in his more recent letters, but in the past he’d occasionally talked about saving her. That was something she needed to discuss with him, but it didn’t seem the right time. She should at least wait for his next letter, right? That is, if there would be another letter.
But he can’t save her from her problems. At this point, the only thing that plagued her was her own mind. That problem would follow her wherever she went. He couldn’t do anything about that. He mentioned marriage on occasion—a cute but silly fantasy. Even if they did meet, she could never leave with him. She had roots here, and they ran deep.
Her son left to live with his father a few months ago, but until he was grown Hyleigh was still needed here. Her daughter would be grown in a few months, but it would still be two years for her son. But then there was the rest of her family. Hyleigh’s mother had been taking care of her, but she was entering her twilight years. Soon her mother would be less independent and need Hyleigh to return the favor and take care of her. And Hyleigh had a brother who was mentally handicapped. He needed care like a small child, and he had physical ailments as well. Hyleigh had promised to take over his care when her mother passed. She couldn’t go back on that promise.
Most of the rest of Hyleigh’s life was already planned out for her. Her mother owed nothing on her house, and it would pass to Hyleigh eventually. She’d live there with her brother and her children if they chose to stay. Both she and her brother relied on healthcare from the city-state of Gridania, and they needed it. They couldn’t leave. And Hyleigh planned on being available for her children even after they were fully grown. These roots dug deep, and she couldn’t untangle them. Even if she could, she wouldn’t want to.
She did get lonely, of course. She did want someone to spend the rest of her life with, but he’d have to be able to fit into Hyleigh’s life—something that a globe-trotting adventurer simply could not do. Her mental health aside, Hyleigh was content with her life. There was no need to save her. There was nothing to save her from. All she needed—or wanted, at least—was someone to hold her at night and when she was frightened.
