Character

A series of blog posts astounded by a city that has out Ul'dah'd Ul'dah.

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I am afraid that a year of relative time was not enough for Alphinaud to hit his growth spurt. Barring that, the Scions' most bullyable Elezen was in decent spirits when Dominique found him. Quite an accomplishment given his surroundings on the island of Kholusia. Admittedly, he could not hear the background music which did a lot to set the mood, a melancholic tune not allowed to brood due to an assault of discordant tones and whines of the everlasting light above us. All this plays in a familiar landscape, a La Noscea that has traded seven Calamities of damage for a hundred-year heat wave. Ruins of what might have been forts dot the landscape far from the shore and catch the wanderer's eye, so long as that wanderer intentionally ignores the garish decorations of Eulmore. This is a prudent measure considering the clown show in that city.

A functional understanding of the current state of Eulmore begins with one Lord Vauthry, a man that has more in common with a prize hog than any Hyur or Hume. A couple of decades ago, he took over the city from his father and displayed an ability to control the sin eaters that plague the landscape. With this power, he set about creating a decadent utopia in Eulmore, where people would indulge in earthly delights until the Flood just went ahead and finished its bloody job. A paradise on earth, and just as appealing to people without. He is also one mean bastard and I know that he is going to be a dungeon boss from having spoiled myself on it... somewhere? Mind you, the man was flying so many red flags you'd think it was the 9th of May in Moscow even before he had a lad carve out his flesh in front of our very eyes.

Alphinaud's plans to seek allies had him attempt entry into the tightly-controlled city by means of setting up a trade deal with the local fishfolk and thus demonstrating value to one of the indolent nobles within in search of a new plaything. A blue Miqo'te — sorry, Mystel — named Kai-Shirr and living in the slums that had grown outside this city overheard this plan and tried to hijack it. Emphasis on tried, given that Dominique was in the area, but Alphinaud let him steal the idea regardless. This was the lad's only chance! His only chance for paradise, where all his friends were! Not like the Crystarium, which would have none of his friends and was a place of hard toil for a better tomorrow; why bother with hard toil when a better tomorrow was right there! Alphinaud found another path inside with his painting skills by a stroke of good luck, so we got to see... none of Kai-Shirr's friends and the prices of the lad's fraudulent entry in Vauthry's court. We saved the kid, but we aren't too welcome there anymore. *"I'll enslave their minds! I'll─I'll torment them─torture them! Then tear out their hearts!", spoke the lardarse. Get in the queue, big guy. It's first in, first out, and you are far from the first.

It is easy for us to dismiss an all-too-convenient paradise as a sham, but we are not there. I am reminded of the poor souls in active warzones. It does not matter how many things out there can kill you; you still need to feed yourself, your community, you still need to do your work and keep your clothes and keep living. Then, here is this paradise on earth which gives out free food on the front gates, and all you need to get in is have some fancy skill that a noble will appreciate! So what if an occasional painter gets thrown overboard or some people go missing? So what if you do not know what is this Meol a pair of harlequins threw at you to eat? Beats your mayor necking himself because half your village got killed by a sin eater on his watch, like in Wright a bit up north. And inside Eulmore? It really is resplendent! It really is an easy life! You don't even hear the whining from the merciless light above!

I had expected Eulmorans to be this contemptible lot keen on lording over the peasants, but all I found were charming idiots. There is no status in that city beyond being a Free citizen and being a Bonded citizen to one of the free. All the goods of the city are communal, so no noble backstabbing! Bonded servitude is based on bringing your masters joy, and for how rotten such a system can get, the worst I've seen on Eulmorans not named Vauthry is a cruel, careless apathy of throwing away one of your toys without considering that the toy is a person... and even that wasn't a given. You just live out your life in the nightclub (dayclub?) and endeavour not to think too hard about the missing people or how the pail of fat above you controls those murderous sin eaters. By the seven hells, they have a Rowena and she is nice!

I had even grown fond of Alphinaud's "masters", the delightfully chubby Dulia-Chai in particular. She played dress-up dolly with the brat and appreciated his realistic portraiture, folds and all! I know that Eulmore is doomed in some capacity (the main aetheryte being locked down would be proof enough even without the other red flags) but I dearly hope the writing team does not twist the knife on them for when we inevitably return. Keeping the indoor plumbing intact would be a welcome bonus.

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OPEN QUESTIONS

Alphinaud, you damnable tease! You know things and are not telling me? And Dominique, you scamp, you are so focused on saving the world you are not asking Alphy about the fine details! For shame, for shame.

WHAT ARE THE PRECISE MECHANICS OF FLOODS AND CALAMITIES? Urianger will have the juicy details of the Scions' theory, but the short of it is that an existential threat is required on both their worlds for a Calamity.
WHY DO REJOININGS WEAKEN ONLY HYDAELYN?
WHAT IS THE ORIGIN OF ASCIANS?
WHO CREATED OMEGA?
HOW IS G'RAHA TIA NOT DEAD OF OLD AGE?
HOW CAN VAUTHRY CONTROL THE SIN EATERS?

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CRACKPOT THEORIES

I have not given my journeys into the black and white enough credit. They have put the voidsent on my mind and I suspect that they are not as far from the light as they might seem at first.

Sin eaters are astral voidsent. We have the same thirst for aether, an attunement with a Flood, and shapes of various mythical creatures. We may infer that they are formed from the plane's previous denizens. The one thing we are missing are spoken sin eaters... or are we?

One can become a sin eater. While it is quite possible for sin eaters to have their own quirks even if they are truly lightful voidsent, the "forgiven" naming of the sin eaters makes me think that one can, in fact, be "forgiven" of some sin and become a sin eater. Plus, it would give further credence to my gut feeling about a certain prodigious gut...

Vauthry is a sapient sin eater. He might have been the previous ruler's son, but now he is a sineater. Parallels to voidsent imply the existence of spoken sin eaters and Vauthry being such a sin eater could explain his powers over his kin. Really, though, FACE FACE HE HAS A FACE, WITH NOSTRILS, IN HIS SHIRT.

All that blubber about it would give the rest of him plenty of space to hide within, would it not? As an additional point of proof for this theory, we have the anecdote of Wright's sin eater attack, who was said to have looked rather human from a distance.

High-ranking Ascians like Lahabrea are special because they still belong to the original race Varis spoke of. Mowen (the Rowena of Eulmore) got me thinking. Let us assume her presence is an indication of shard-twins being a real thing and not just a silly joke. Given the importance of the Source to an Ascian's status, the Source being the original world, and the notion of a unified, "greater" race that predates our little War in Heaven, we can speculate that the importance of the Source to an Ascian's status is that they never got saddled with any shattered shard-twins and got to preserve their original power in a singular, Source-born form.

SOYLENT MEOL IS PEOPLE. The plot was far too insistent on mentioning it over and over again, there is talk of missing people beyond those thrown overboard, and it would be a classic twist.

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One twin down! We had to teach Alisaie a bit of patience, dear readers. I will link no socials. I do not want you to send me what goes on in the Hive when the lights go dim.