Kahori Harukawa

The White

Coeurl (Crystal)

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Papashan Nonoshan: Purveyor Of Perfect Provisions


This is a guest entry to Kahori Harukawa's Lodestone and does not reflect the opinions et al of Miss Kahori herself.


Greetings to any of you reading this entry I wrote myself with explicit permission from Miss Kahori herself. My name is Papashan Nonoshan, a retired Sultansworn paladin, an overseer of the Copperbell and Nanawa Mines in Thanalan...and a firm believer in providing generous portions of food to hungry adventurers ready to tackle the next great challenge. Inspired by a vision of tackling hunger on this star, I collaborated with some important people and created Papashan Enterprises, incorporated in Ul'dah.

Now this company owns two restaurant chains. The first is a chain called Papashan's Pizza. Lady Aldiytha Thorne is a connoiseur of food and after looking at a piece of flatbread, she asked the question: can we turn this flatbread into a dish that will remind adventurers of the Blue Planet of home? What can we turn this into? Another member of the board of my company is Lady Lisette de Valentione, who said, "There is a dish called pizza, effectively a flatbread pie topped with tomato sauce, cheese and a selection of toppings."

And so it dawned it on me. Why not offer a customizable flatbread pizza where they can choose from a variety of meat and vegetable toppings ready made by a team of master culinarians then delivered by runners to all the housing districts via the apps on their tomestone phones? So was made the slogan and the name. Better Ingredients, Better Pizza, Papashan's. I even had my own crafted pizza called Shan's Special, which includes grilled aldgoat, ramhorn zucchini and wizard eggplant on top of a cream cheese and tomato sauce base. The pizzas are made for one, and if all wanted a pizza party of sorts, multiple pizzas could be ordered in bulk.

And within weeks, Papashan's Pizza became the gold standard for pizzas in Eorzea. But I wasn't done yet. In an experiment with Amh Garanjy and Jihli Aliapoh, I bent a flatbread a certain way and filled it with a selection of fillings, such as La Noscean Lettuce, Cieldales Spinach and shredded grilled dodo. Amh said that the adventurers call this arrangement a "taco". Apparently this was a very big taco that kept me full all day.

It was Jihli who suggested that we should sell these tacos and call the restaurant venture Big Fat Tacos. But we needed a slogan. A man named Simpkin walked into our meeting and gave us a orchestrion roll to play. It was an air called "Ultima", presumably a tribute to the now-felled Ultima Weapon. The first of the vocals sounded as follows.

"Big Fat Tacos,
Big Fat Tacos,
Big Fat Tacos,

At that point, my face lit up and said, "Ladies, we have our tagline. We must give you credit, Master Simpkin." But he, being a simple bard of humble upbringings, said, "Master Papashan, I need not your coin good sir. I already earn my keep playing my songs in all the taverns of the Shroud."

And thus was created Big Fat Tacos, and the original options that followed: the Original Ultima, the fiery Ruby Taco, the seafood-heavy Sapphire Taco, the vegetarian Emerald Taco, and the high-end keto bomb known as the Diamond Taco, made with HQ ingredients locally imported from the First. Each meal came with a choice of Millioncorn Tortilla Chips or Popoto Fries, a sauce dip of choice and a beverage of choice. A full meal at a worthy value. And yes, these big, fat tacos are so big, you don't even need to order a second. This is a portion big enough to send you napping in the shade. BFT, as this venture was also known, was a mainstay for adventurers who wanted to purchase munchies on the run. It, alongside, Papashan's Pizza, are the moneymakers that keep my company in the black for moons.

And so that concludes my entry. The moral of this story is this: when you are called by the Twelve to end the hunger of the Warriors of Light, you must needs answer that call with pizza and big, fat tacos that are so big. To the last, I shall continue to answer that call, because where there are full bellies, there is bliss. My name is Papashan, and I thank you for reading this piece.
Comments (1)

Bongaboi Pangyatoy

Coeurl (Crystal)

This is just more proof that #LalafellMasterRace. Any questions?
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