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Jacqli Rivoli

The Red

Balmung (Crystal)

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  • 5

I remember why I don't like to tank in this game.

Public
Don't get me wrong. Tanking itself can be great and challenging and to be perfectly honest it's not that hard.

But you know what can sometimes make it absolutely insufferable? You.
You the players. You can make it insufferable. Sometimes I love you guys and sometimes I want to reach through the dimensional plane to strangle you to death.

I'm sure other people who've tanked have come across players who've made the experience pretty sour. That's right, I'm talking about the backseat gamers who like to make snide comments about your gameplay because they are the universal expert in every knowledgeable thing in the world. Especially if you're not playing the way THEY want you to play.

Okay I'm gonna vent a bit because I've had a very long and stressful day at work, I come on to the game to do some leisure roulettes and relax and I just HAD to come across this unpleasant cunt of a fem miqote monk. I know, I know...shhh Jacqli, don't let the cumstains get to you but ya know, sometimes you just gatta fucking let loose or you'll murder a kitten.

Grand Cosmos. Okay sweet, I got tired of doing fucking Anamnesis Anyder whateverthefuck for like the 7th time in a row. The dungeon is standard. Everything is fine up until the last few pulls before the last boss. My cellphone starts beeping like crazy and after the pull I ask my party to hold one sec so I could check to make sure it wasn't work. Took me about 3 seconds before I was back since my phone was right next to me. I get a " -__________-" from the twat. Well I mean, sorry some of us have a life...and work...and responsibilities. We can't speed run through a dungeon every single goddamn time now can we? It don't work like that and it won't kill you to wait 3 seconds. Well...maybe her because she's a cunt. Maybe if I'd been gone longer than that you'd be justified but at least if I do get called away I just leave so you can find a replacement rather than force my party to wait for me.

I just ignore her and continue on. We get to the last boss and this is when the cunt decided to activate cunt mode. I noticed the BLM in our party was lagging behind watching the cutscene. I surmised that he was probably new (and I'd end up being wrong because he knew to run to furniture to get rid of his blue flame debuff, he just didn't feel like doing any of the other mechs). No biggie, the boss is easy enough. Even if most of the furniture is burned away, as long as the healer survived they can just revive me and we can continue. Our BLM proceeds to burn literally almost everything instantly leaving only 2 pieces of furniture left. Me and the monk die because we have nothing to cleanse ourselves with. We both get up, okay. The boss drops more furniture. Now..this is the part that leaves me aghast because out of the hundreds of times I've run this dungeon as tank, healer or dps, I have never once ever had a problem with this. The boss is positioned maybe between two pieces of furniture but right smack in the middle, there's still enough room to maneuver yourself so that you don't clip the furniture with the fire aoe (you could literally move anywhere in the outside portion since there was no other furniture to clip). I simply move to a spot where my aoe won't clip. The scholar does the same. No problem. The monk and BLM however, decided they didn't want to move from their positions because "mUh DeEpUs" and they burn 1 more piece of furniture. Queue the monk telling me that everything is my fault because I didn't "position the boss at the back from the beginning" despite the BLM literally burning everything immediately from the get-go, it was somehow my fault even though they could have just...you know...fucking M O V E D and none of the furniture would have been clipped. I moved. The scholar moved. Why couldn't they move? So I'm supposed to handhold you because you're too fucking lazy to move because you want your dps? Fuck right off. Don't blame me because you want to be a lazy piece of shit. I come to this game to play and have fun, not to get bitched at by some tryhard cunt. You wanna do that, go to WoW Classic and do that there. You don't pay my sub, blah blah blah insert generic 'don't tell me what to fucking do' fuckery here.

Man tanks sometimes get a bad rap. We just wanna queue and do dungeons. But we get healers that don't want to heal us because they fancy themselves a dps job and forget they queued as healer. Healers like to fucking ignore us when we ask at the start of a dungeon if we can do big pulls because you know..some of us are considerate. We get dps that like to backseat game and tell us how to play our jobs when we actually fucking know what we're doing. We get blamed because dps want to be lazy cunts so we have to wheelchair them around because pressing a directional key is too fucking hard for them. We get rushed through everything and hurried and if we're not going at the speed of sound we get bitched at. Some jackass pulls ahead of us and bitches at us when we just let them die. We get bitched at for telling to folks HOL UP for 1 fucking second (which happens very rarely in my case since I do everything to make sure I won't be called away for anything while I'm in an instance). We get bitched at when we pull too much...we get bitched at when we pull too little. We get bitched at for how much damage we take even though we use our cooldowns properly and it's just the healer not fucking healing enough because they wanna dps or only deciding to heal us when we have 1000 hp left. We get bitched at when people get cleaved with tank busters because they're stupid and don't know how to move out of the way but it's somehow my fault because I shoulda moved it out of the way. Fuck me.

Ugh...I sometimes fucking hate tanking and you guys do not make it fun at all. And you chucklefucks wonder why there's so few of us sometimes. Maybe it's because some days we just don't feel like dealing with the bullshit. Like I get legitimate criticism or advice on what to do to optimize my job like rotations and melding and stuff like that or if I legitimately fuck up a mech or something that I don't understand. But don't tell me what to fucking do or handle a boss I've done perfectly well each time for the past year just because you're a lazy wankstain.

AAAAA I'M SO MAD. Now I know how that tank I complained about probably feels. maybe, I dunno. I still think they kind of lacked common sense.
Okay, okay shhh, shhh I'm fine now I swear.

-Jacqli
Comments (5)

Quintessa Storm

Spriggan (Chaos)

That...was funny and enjoyable to read. All good points and oh boy oh boy yes other players can make tanking a real bitch. In raids OTHER TANKS make me hate tanking..

Aoi Achilles

Famfrit (Primal)

Ouch that must've been a painful experience for you! Probably those guys might have had a bad day and just wanted to vent on you for no reason. Tanks shouldn't be treated like that at all. They play a big role in this game which is to take all the hits while party members dps the hell out of the mobs. Overall, people shouldn't judge others for their plays. Everybody has different playstyles and different ways.

Khalindra Nela

Cerberus (Chaos)

dont worry to much, just shrug it off from your shoulder as some dust :P

Lolo Menehune

Siren (Aether)

LMAO "Cumstains" xD I feel your pain on so many levels, but when I tank it's like I give Zero Shits..None..nada..to anyone that has been infected with Bitchassness and tires to fuck with me when I'm tanking..a shirk..turn off tank stance. Kick me...IDGAF. meh

BUT when I heal,,,I suddenly become in touch with my feminine side and suddenly I'm concerned about everyones feelings, everyone's opinion of me...feel attacked...I have NO idea what comes over me <.<

Lancit Eleven

Atomos (Elemental)

Totally get were your coming from; it comes with the job though, but there is a difference between being "teased" and being a "dick".

Its like being a cook at a summer camp, they'll say the food is bad, that its crap, has no flavor, no presentation the "Aw man this again!".
But they eat it anyway...
and it wouldn't be camp if they couldn't make fun of it...
least that's my philosophy
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