Rant about the raiding scene
I just started to realize what makes you "good" at this game is simply experience. I've recently been in several clear parties whether helping or for myself. Being in voice chat during some of these, I have been with some who have already cleared. Unfortunately many of them say really nasty things about people who are making mistakes. They're still getting comfortable with the mechanics. If you have enough experience to be comfortable with the mechanics you are a great player. Nothing else matters.
Hearing some of these people talk it seems they have some superiority complex. Because they have cleared they can do no wrong. If they make a mistake it was just "an honest mistake." But if someone else makes a mistake "they're trash." I can't say I have been immune to this. I just realized I used to be like that too. But as time has passed I have realized this is very bad behavior. Empathy is important in this situation and I'm trying my best to apply it to this situation.
Another thing I have noticed is that sometimes this kind of player, their competency of playing their role is quite lacking. Before I move on I just want to say I'm not saying I'm better than these people. I'm just saying their attitude towards other players is incongruent with their ability as a player. They have experience, so they know the mechanics. But they're not good at their role. I was with a particular healer who the entire time would complain about his co healer or what kind of cohealer he needs. It was agonizing to listen to. Instead of recognizing his deficiencies as a healer he chose to blame the other healer for not going beyond to make up for it. Also he did almost no damage and he died all the time. But because he had cleared he was fine.... Honest mistake!
One particular experience really irked me. The person who made the PF had not cleared but he talked down to basically everyone except the people who cleared in voice chat. He blamed Crystal data center and not himself for why he hadn't cleared. He was basically talking mad shit about everything. "Oh why does this kind of player exist. Why do people play like this they're stupid? Crystal sucks everyone is badddds." Also he wasn't perfect he made many mistakes some due to his self-centered attitude. There was one particular time that made me quite angry. During e4s when half the platform is gone and we get our colored debuffs, he got yellow and went to a square and would refuse to move. He proceeded to blow up all the oranges. First of all he was in the wrong square to begin with. Second of all it's much easier for 1 person to adjust than 4 people to adjust. And then when his mistake was pointed out he didn't take responsibility and just stayed quiet.
Also I just want to point out the stereotype that Aether players are by far the most toxic is wrong. Crystal players are very toxic as well. Also on the inverse Crystal PF isn't that bad. The raiding community is smaller so there are less PF parties and they fill less quickly. But it gets the job done and we can get clears.
This is kind of a rant and at this point I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say. I hope I'm not coming across as talking down to these people or being holier than thou. Cause I'm not. I just wanted to rant about some experiences I have had recently that has made me very uncomfortable with some of the community. These experiences drive me to be a better person and to be a more valuable part of the community. If you're reading I hope it helps you too.
Though I doubt anyone will ever read this.
Hello! I don't raid on Crystal, so it's interesting to read the perspective of someone who does.
I agree, as humans, we have an innate need to feel good about ourselves, so it's tempting to always blame the datacenter, the party, job balance, etc for one's lack of success. Excusing one's own mistakes while blaming others for theirs may also be an ego defense mechanism. It's great that you recognize this is bad and try to avoid it, even if we may not always be successful in doing so!
That said, I think frustration is a normal human emotion, and I consider venting healthy and necessary. I think as long as it is done in private or anonymously, and not in a way where it may cause discomfort to the player in question, it's fine. However, IMO it's odd if 1) some people in the party are in VC and some are not and 2) those in VC are ranting in front of strangers about those who are not. It doesn't feel like a party that can work together to me...
I have been in VC several times, and usually, the entire party was in chat. Even in cases where some were not, those in VC did not badmouth the others. Actually, almost every time I was in discord for Savage, the atmosphere was very positive. I'm sorry to hear you had such a bad experience.
I agree that one should not be complacent just because one has already cleared, or use it to look down on others.
As for that person you met who talked down to others even while making mistakes and without having cleared themselves, I can only say -_-. Lol!