This is one of those things that pop into my mind at 2 am when I am trying to sleep. Of course I had to wake up and write it for fear of losing the idea, but thanks to my muse, I wrote the whole thing in 45 minutes. (That is SUPER fast for me! ;p) I want to write Adora's reply too, we'll see if it comes to me just as easily.
Of course, unless you are into Annabel and my writing, this won't interest you.
Dearest Adora:
It's been a long while since I have wrote directly to you, you know how it is when you have some stupid power inside you and everyone wants you to DO stuff, right? Oh wait, I guess you don't. Oh well, it's as good of an excuse as any, so I'll just stick with that.
Anyway, I know I send those silly letters to the both of you to keep track of what I am doing, but with this one I wanted to send it only to you big sister. Adora, I need your advice, your help. I need what you and only you can do to comfort me as you always have in the past. I know, it sounds silly, right? I am 25 years old and STILL need my older sister's lap to lay my head on while she strokes my hair and comforts me. I may have done many amazing things in the past two years and have even grown up some, but deep down I am still that scared girl who sometimes needs her big sister for things that overwhelm her.
Well, let me tell you what is going on with my life at the moment, all BAD I might add! As you know, I am currently stuck in another world, this messed up place of the First. Yes Adora, I was NOT kidding about that, I'm really NOT on Hydaelyn anymore, though I still have a connection with it to get stuff like these letters there, convenient, right?
As you might have guessed, great demands have been placed on me once more with the saving of their world. At least I'm not totally alone as some of the Scions are here too and are kind of sort of helping, but I STILL have to do all the hard stuff myself. The hardest part though is learning about this world and what it used to be like.
Adora, this world is like it is because the forces of light.....won. Yes, they beat back the Darkness and for their efforts got CONSUMED by the very Light they were fighting for. Its.....it's... so confusing and horrible seeing the results of it all here. And the people, oh Adora, the PEOPLE. They are doing their best, trying to fight, trying to survive. But sister, I have seen so many failures, so many fall to the horrors that are known as the Sin Eaters here. I have seen good people die horribly, a good woman fall before my very eyes while I stood helpless, a useless, useless blonde ditz.....
Oh Adora, this is soooo hard! it's soooo hard watching people dying, failing, making me feel like I can't DO anything with all this STUPID power I have. I SHOULD be ABLE to SAVE them all, KEEP them from DYING! I mean isn't what this Echo is FOR, to HELP people?
You know the worst of it Adora? It's that this power does not come with ANY explanation or instructions on how to ACTUALLY use it. It gives you NO idea WHAT to do with it, it's just there, waiting. It waits until some trigger happens then shows up to do its thing, then goes away again. Oh, it's SOOOOOO frustrating sister! It REALLY is so frustrating having NO control of it. It makes me feel like I am just a vessel, a conduit of it's power and all I do is take it to the next place it needs to be in order to work it's magic.
It's really like I absolutely have NO say in anything about this power; have NO say in how it works, how it should be used or even WHERE it should be used. People TELL me where to go, TELL me what to do, I never even GET to say NO!
You know sis, I am always asking WHY Hydaelyn picked ME for this, WHY me? But writing this out, I am beginning to SEE why. Why waste someone skilled or competent for this task when all that is needed was a vessel of someone who amounted to very little in the world to carry it places. BOY, do I meet THAT requirement!
But hey, it's not all bad, right? I get to be powerful, help the helpless and save the world. But......
Adora, is any of it ME? Is any of it MY, Annabel's, doing? Are any of my victories because of MY thoughts, MY ideas, MY knowledge and wisdom?
I know I am NOT the smartest person out there, but I'm NOT as dumb as everyone thinks I am. I DO have skills, talents, education, (Does THAT one surprise you dear?) I am MORE than just a pretty face and nice figure to be smitten with.
Sigh, I KNOW what you are going to say Adora. That I hide it constantly behind the stupid things I do, behind the beauty, the ditziness, the bitchy personality. You know, I WANT to counter that argument, but I can't because you are RIGHT! I DO do that! Why? To hide from stuff? From responsibility? From showing that I am actually a capable woman inside? "Oh look, Annabel's acting stupid again, we better not bother giving her anything useful to do, we'll just be disappointed when she fails."
Honestly Adora, I don't really know why. Maybe I really DO think those things sometimes thanks to Mother telling it to me so often, that I am useless. Maybe I want to hide behind those words to make it easier on me.
Of course now I can't really DO that thanks to the Echo. Now I am out on my own, ACTUALLY relying on myself and what I can do, or at least what I THINK I can do. As I said before, is any of it ME?
Adora, I'm just a girl from Shedellia, just a silly dilettante thrown into this by some crappy twist of fate. The Echo gives me the power to fight the evil, but not always to COPE with what is happening around me. THIS is why I am writing you, I need you to help me with that aspect of it, to help me figure out all this crap out and figure a way to keep my sanity from all the terror, violence, and death I have to experience.
And what OF my so called victories? With every one, am I leading my world, our HOME, a little closer to what the First has become? When the last enemy is defeated, will the Light consume our world too? Should I BE so quick to allow others to judge things are bad for bad's sake? Should I say no because I have SEEN what happens when 'yes' is said too often when faced with Darkness?
These should not BE questions for someone like ME. I should not BE the one having to ASK them. But Adora, as you know I have no choice. If I don't ask them, try and figure them out, then I could be inadvertently dooming our world to a fate I don't want to see.
Damn it Adora, I didn't WANT to have to grow up THIS way, I want my old life back with all that it entailed, both good and bad. But who am I kidding, I can never have it back again. I am stuck with this, stuck with whatever happens, and have to deal with it the best that I can.
But, this Girl from Shedellia does NOT have to to do it alone, for I have a very wise and caring Sister who has been, and will be there for me when I truly need her. And Adora, right now, I SOOOOOOO need you!
Write back when you can. Don't worry, your letter will get to me. One of the advantages OF being a powerful person is that I DO have some rather powerful friends.
Take care Dear Sister, and know I love you so very much;
Annabel
Wow 3 likes! People seem to like this one. I guess I should not be surprised at that, my writings inspired by my muse tend to be better than my other stuff.
I actually wanted to start getting Adora involved more too in the story.
