Character

Orphaned at the age of three by a marauding Gigantuar, she barely escaped death by performing a ridiculously high jump over the beast, straight into the mouth of a cavern. She made her way to the deepest reaches alone, eating pudding to survive as she made her way through the vast tunnels ending a great cathedral of a cavern awash in darkness. Warm lights and bright flashes of steel surfaced from the gloom. Soft murmurs speaking of murder surrounded her on all sides. Slowly the lights closed in all around her, bright eyes filled with malice not thier own flickered in the darkness. She began to weep. Then, at the moment all seemed hopeless, a soft and kindly voice cut through the enmity, silencing the mob in its wake.

"What is it you seek, my child?", asked the voice.

After a short while, she answered back, "Vengeance... and some pastry. Yes, I would like some vengeance and pastry. Mostly vengeance, but some pastries really sound nice."

Slowly the lights began to fade out leaving her in silent darkness. A bright white light accompanied by soft laughter began to cut through the gloom. Wider and wider it grew into a massive shining crescent moon. Its warm light outlining the shapes of small hooded creatures no bigger than her in the distance.

The crescent parted and words carried on a warm, sweet gale greeted her, pushing her back on her heels. "I am the great Granny Tonberry. We have no pastries for the likes of you - but, vengeance... Vengeance is something we can provide."

All at once the bright crescent smile snapped shut, a slow procession of lights came to her side, and cold, slimy hands welcomed her into the fold.

As she came of age they trained her in their sometimes deadly art of passive-aggressive assassination by lamplight. On the eve of her 32nd birthday, during a cold-shoulder exercise, she had a vision...
It was of a massive jelly donut over a forest village oozing its fruity contents over everything in sight. She awoke the very next day and announced she was leaving. That night she walked outside for the first time in nearly thirty years, all in search of the enormous pastry of her dreams - with a generous side of sweet vengeance.

Unlearned in the ways of the culinarian, and completely ignorant of what the hell a culinarian is or even does, she instead sought to be trained as a lancer in the hope that she could someday learn to disembowel a regular donut and subsequently fill it with a jelly or jam of her choosing.

Will she ever find this elusive, and likely non-existent, pastry? No. Will she ever see granny Tonberry again? Maybe. Will she ever scissor Minfilia? Oh, god I hope so. Will her trusty chocobo, Shadowmist ever get his bright pink Mog barding with matching rhinestone porter hat? Wait, what? Are there more than two ways to skin a coeurl? Who the hell knows?

What I do know is - A delicious adventure awaits...