Character
FFXIV Joke Compilation
Public
Jokes from around Eorzea
(various sources)
Q: What is an Astrologian's favorite sweater?
A: A cardigan.
Q: Why doesn't Cid ever use steel?
A: Because iron works.
Q: Why are ninjas never late?
A: Because they arrive Raiton time.
Q: Why do FFXIV players always have broken down cars?
A: They don't know any mechanics.
Q: Why do Scholars make such good sales people?
A: Because there's a Succor born every minute.
Q: Why did the chocobo cross the road?
A: He was going for a wark.
Q: What do moogles use when they go shopping?
A: Kupons.
Q: What did Ifrit say after the party wiped?
A: Nailed it!
Q: Why do white mages get invited to parties?
A: To raise the roof.
Q: Why do people dislike summoners?
A: They ruin everything.
Q: Why do famous people get summoners to write about them?
A: Because they write the best BIOgraphies.
Q: What's the hardest part about fighting Titan?
A: Managing the seven adds.
Q: What's Twintania's favorite party game?
A: Twister.
Q: Why did the Sahagin cross the waves?
A: To get to the other tide.
Q: What type of shoes do white mages wear?
A: Heals.
Q: Why did the paladin get kicked from the party?
A: He wouldn't stop flashing everyone.
Q: What's it called when a scholar and a monk get into a fight?
A: A succor punch.
Q: What do you call a male Lala?
A: A Lalafella.
Q: What do you call a poor Lala?
A: A little short.
Q: What do you call a Lalafell psychic wanted by the guards in Uldah?
A: A Small Medium at Large.
Let's be glad Titan doesn't go for President, he'd win by a landslide.
Q: What's a Monk's favorite song?
A: Greased Lightnin'.
Q: Why did the Paladin commit perjury?
A: He told a lie when under Sword Oath. He thought he was under Shield Oath.
Q: Why did Ifrit go to the salon?
A: To get his nails done.
Q: Why are Monk jokes so funny?
A: They have a strong punchline.
Q: Why do Paladins make bad secret agents?
A: Because they always blow their Cover when things get dicey.
Q: Why can BLMs cross-class Physick but not Cure?
A: Because the White Mage is always trying to keep da Black Mage down!
Q: Why don't women want WARs in the bedroom?
A: Because they run out of TP during foreplay and their Inner Beast only lasts six seconds.
Q: Why couldn't the WHM use AOE heals after the tank died?
A: His Medica License was revoked for malpractice!
Q: What did the Lalafell say when asked for a few gil?
A: Sorry, I'm a little short!
Q: What is the definition of "pissed off"?
A: A Lalafell with a yo-yo.
Q: Why shouldn't a Lalafell be a Culinarian?
A: The steaks are too high.
Q: Why are Lalafell such nice players?
A: Because they don't look down on people!
Q: What do you call a Lalafell who is out of gil?
A: Short changed.
Q: What do you call a chubby Lalafell?
A: Low fat.
Q: What gesture do Lalafell use to say hello?
A: A microwave!
Q: Where do Lalafell go to drink?
A: The mini-bar!
Q: Which primal likes taking pictures?
A: Selfie-rot
Q: What do people do when they are cold?
A: They Shiva.
Q: What do you call a Warrior who is after a Ninja?
A: A goad-digger.
Q: Why did the Caster's wife have so many hickeys on her neck?
A: Because the Caster was a Neck-Romancer.
Q: Why do Gnath make terrible healers?
A: Because they have Onemind.
Q: What do poor adventurers eat?
A: Ramuh noodles.
Very good Jokes! Thx for sharing :D
The one about Titan adds is funny but true.
I also found the Warrior one particularly amusing.
And you put the "small medium at large" one in there twice.
I laughes so hard my sides hurt, and I spit up my soda, and dropped my piece of pie....YOU OWE ME PIE NOW!!
That WAR one is pretty good.
You are now wanted for criminally bad punning in 10 states. :)
I died at Microwave. HAHA
Thanks for the heads up on the double post! There are more I want to add from Reddit.
I take credit for none of these - just the effort to gather them in one place :P
They've been in many blogs :)
The point is a /compilation/ :)
these jokes are funny
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Why do Scholars make such good sales people?
Because there's a Succor born every minute.
I have one this is from midas 1 i made up. What did the goblin give us in therapy? A shock therapy
For Shiva's sake, I laughed so hard.
I told this jokes to my hubby and he laughed too, specially the Lala's jokes (probably 'cause I'm a Lala IG and bit short IRL xD)
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*points* It's Klaus's fault!
Ah man my bad
I goofed lol
Sometimes a Phoenix Down is needed
TY for this
Why did the WTM let the party die?
He wanted a raise
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you for got one:
have you heard about the mimic with a cold?
He's now a coffer.
I thought the first one was amusing for a different reason. My wife Aria named one of the FC airships the Cardigan and I asked her, "Why did you name your ship after a sweater?" So every time I see it mentioned I say "The Sweater ship is going out!"
I don't know if a joke can be made out of the following.
{
[23:39][FC]<...> lmao my behemoth mount apparently just scared a new player XD he whispered me to tell me
}
I laught hard.
I LOVE THESE THANK YOU
